Oh really now. 

you must click that.

While at church last night, they ask us to bow our heads and confess our sins.  I start going backwards, chronologically from earlier that day.  When the leader says AMEN, I've only made it to friday night.  I need more time! 

Also, the sermon included a reference to "Pour some sugar on me" by Def Leopard and MTV.  It makes me feel welcome, but a little weird.  If you were in middle school when that song was popular, how old would you be?

These houses are so beautiful and perfect for me, it almost makes me cry big happy tears.

YEAH!

the funeral, that is.  

when I was in for thanksgiving without my family, it was depressing. 

Summer must be different.  I had a great time. 

I was with Oliver the first time he hooked a worm.   I was there with Ella the first time she rode the 4 wheeler. 

Ben is walking and so is Rachel. 

Uncle Willis is dead :(   Aunt Rosa is okay.  72 years is a long time to be married to someone, and 94 years is a long time to be on this earth.

I got locked out of the house a couple times, slept very well and woke to the sound of a babbling creek and birds. 

I am broke right now. Broke like I cannot afford to buy a stick of gum, assuming that some questionable merchant somewhere is selling individual sticks of gum. It’s my own fault, because I forgot to figure in two major bills when doing my budget this month, and also because my monthly budgets are not so much numbers on spreadsheets, but shimmery ideas that fly around inside my head like hibernating unicorns. This is a constant source of disappointment to my financial planner father, who asks me questions about my 401k or Roth IRA and I’m like, “Yes, eleventeen. Negative three. Colorado.”



ah ha ha

My sister is such a little softball all-star.

Thanksgiving was very bittersweet.  First one without the family together.  I have been missing my Mom & Dad quite a bit lately and these weeks before Christmas are going to be long. Then, Kate didn't get to Grandma's until 9 pm Thanksgiving Day and so I was pretty much without her as well.  Then, on top of all that, I was/am dealing with the consequences of very bad choices and having a difficult time with that as well.  Big long pause.  The sweet part of Thanksgiving was holding my little cousin Ben, going to breakfast and visiting with Great Aunt Rosa (she just turned 93!!) & Uncle Willis, seeing all the cousins, going on a walk with my cousin Janesa, Kate, and her two kids around the farm, and being out of cell phone coverage.  

this journal is not dead. 


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